well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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