he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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