i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
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