Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
