so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
