come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
