if only i could text you this smell
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
