I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
