Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
