But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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