are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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