If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
