Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize