I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
