I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
