i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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