it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
