Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
The struggles of a small town man whore
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
