new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
