not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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