A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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