What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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