my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
