i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
