I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
