google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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