DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
