Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
