I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
