he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
