At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
