So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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