just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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