He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
