Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
