So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize