I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
where are my eyebrows?
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