Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
