actually, I'm a sock model
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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