Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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