You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
