I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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