That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
