I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
