I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
