i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
