awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize