I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
we made out on top of his cat.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
