I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
