I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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