I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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