its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
