Jerry, you need to find god
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
