barbara walters just said penis...
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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