I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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