You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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