here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize