so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
