the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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