So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
