He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize