We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
