great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
