yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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